My Adventure In Sending A Wire by Daring Texan

It all started with a plea for help from a dear friend of mine who was in dire straits. She sent me an email describing her predicament, and I replied I would help, no matter what it took to do it. I started immediately, right after I read that in fact, making a phone call to my financial advisor. I explained what I wanted to do, stressing that time was a crucial factor- any delay could undermine what my friend needed. He set up an appointment for the next day, and in the meantime I emailed my friend who lives in the UK, and requested her bank info so I could send her what she needed.
Armed with what she provided and my good intentions, I gave all the info to the receptionist/secretary, filled out the form for the wire, and signed a letter of authorization for this transaction. This put everything into motion. I was happy to inform my friend that it would take 3 business days to complete and have the funds in her account. I left the office feeling like Superwoman in my euphoric rush for do-gooding. We were ecstatic in our joy.

It took only 2 days to sell off enough stock to get the funds required for my friend, and again, I felt things were falling into place. WRONG! The girl at the desk phoned me to ask if I was sending the amount minus the $100 fee. I said I needed that whole amount, so can I come back to the office and write a check for the fee? Yes, she replied, and so I went back. My do-gooding high then fell flat when I realized no one ever mentioned a fee for doing this transaction. I learned she was hired only recently. I overlooked this, because being miffed wouldn't get me anywhere and wrote the check.

The following day I received a message on my answering machine- the transaction didn't go through, because they needed a street address for the bank in the UK. I phoned my friend, trying to constrain the time, because we both have the gift of gab, telling her what I needed. That's when I learned her bank was in the process of merging. She went to her bank the next day and emailed me the info. I then took her info and gave it to the girl at the desk. She then phoned the Home Office of my investment firm to have someone walk her through the transaction. I signed ANOTHER letter of authorization because the bank info had changed. This was a Wednesday, and it was the next Monday that I began to become frustrated and sarcastic.

On Monday, around 4:30 pm CST in the US, 10:30 pm in the UK, I received another phone call that the wire didn't go through. I was pissed now, because they could've called me Thursday or Friday. And calling me at such a late date, it was impossible for me to reach my friend, she'd be in bed already. I wanted to pull my hair out! On Tuesday, yesterday in fact, I woke up early so I'd have the new info from her BANK OFFICER IN THE UK. She had to do it on her lunch break, so I killed time on my computer, got bored, and left a nasty-gram on my advisor's answering machine, told them I'd be there @ 10 am sharp, and I want answers as to why this was turning into a clusterfuck. I also told them I felt I was being treated this way because my account is rather modest. But if this is the service I get, when I DO come into significant funds from the death of my aunt(which could be any time between now and the Rapture-longevity runs in that side of the family) I'll be withdrawing what I have with them and invest my money elsewhere.

At 10 am, I asked why this was taking so long. Why has each new message/phone call revealed yet another delay? The girl at the desk replied, "We have to be careful of terrorists when a large amount is wired internationally." OMG! WTF??? It took every ounce of my self-control not to burst out in anger or laughter! I was FLABBERGASTED! My friend and I are suspected of being TERRORISTS? Dubya's campaign of fear still lingers.

"WE'RE HOUSEWIVES, for crying out loud!", I responded. "I SERIOUSLY doubt our names are on Interpol's, the FBI's, or Scotland Yard's suspected terrorist list. The money is for a mortgage payment so she won't lose her house. I can vouch for her that she has ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTION of using that money for the purchase of large quantities of fertilizer. And even if we WERE terrorists, what can $1500 purchase- MAYBE 2 broken AK47's without ammo!"

That was the best excuse, ever. The other one my advisor told me was that Wells Fargo(ever my arch nemesis since Dad died) is the middle-man for Edward Jones Financial to send international wires of funds. The second delay was "European" wire transfer, and they wouldn't accept it. The wire could've been sent on time- every other damnable bank in the US do it often. Not them. The UK apparently isn't "EUROPEAN" in their minds. No, it's "INTERNATIONAL", and requires a different code! This is why I hate Wells Fargo Bank, and why I support REGULATION Of BANKS.

I hope everyone at Wells Fargo gets sent to the streets to eke out a living with the homeless. Amen.

*footnote: my friend's wire should be in her account no later than this Friday, Nov. 6 or my wrath shall fall like Old Testament plagues. :(

**ARRRGH! MY friend informed me the wire wasn't in her account on Monday, Nov. 9. That means when the wire was sent on Nov. 3, 2 days later it was kicked back and 4 more days of me thinking it had gone through. Errands to run on Tuesday. Wednesday, Nov. 11, my Old Testament wrath smote the advisor @ Edward Jones Financial. I called to ask why wasn't I informed the wire was kicked back nearly a week ago; why did I hear this from my friend? "People make mistakes," my advisor said. "Yeah, I understand human error; but this one is far worse, NO ONE knew it was kicked back, NO ONE double-checks their work, NO ONE called to see if it sent ok, NO ONE but MY FRIEND informed me what happened, and on top of all the other gaffes, you have the balls to ask how do I know??? When you don't know a damn thing for certain in this god-forsaken office??? The British Bank officer TOLD my friend what happened! Are you questioning a Bank OFFICER??? Where is the damn thing now?" I asked. "I don't know what account it's in," he said, adding that the wire was sent. "Are you telling me I can't get a refund? Better think again, it NEVER got to the intended destination- my friend's account. Are you running some kind of con game here?" I asked coldly. "You'd better find which account MY MONEY is in, hadn't you, or you'll be in hotter water than you are now. Today's Wednesday; on Friday a refund check for the wire better be sent to my house. I'm sending the damned check myself, UPS to the UK. After that, when I've had time to calm down, I'm liquidating my investments." This past Saturday it was sent by me. Tomorrow, the 16th, I'm liquidating my account. It's over.